my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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