he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
