i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize