she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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