Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
