I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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