I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Can I color on your dick again?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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