you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
