i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
