jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
