Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
