New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
