hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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