How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
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