I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
