chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
