oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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