so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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