I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize