The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
