just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
