Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
