went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
