A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
