dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
