dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
