dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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