What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
