i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
