You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
