Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
