3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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