pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
