What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I want a musical about memes.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
