I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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