yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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