So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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