Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
