let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
