I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
