real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
