im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
