How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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