I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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