did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
