Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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