Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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