Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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