I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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