Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
this hospital has no fireball
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
