There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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