y did u give ur computer a hand job?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
