dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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