his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
