Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
