Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
