my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
