where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
