my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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