so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
