Welp...herpes.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this just has baby written all over it
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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