So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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