If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
